Thursday, November 15, 2007

Longest Dream

We were trying to fly an aeroplane. Why? We had dreams. A soaring ambition. A wild whim. A dash of hysteria. Just for the moment - the fleeting adrenaline - we wanted to see if ordinary folk could do something, "extraordinary" (in a sense).

Oh it was a big plane. Did we build it? It seemed that the unique element of this whole adventure was that it could be easily owned, and had some manner of simplicity that we were capable of. It was probably a jumbo jet. A glorious beast. Something that if you look at it from where you are, who you are, you'll feel like a climber at the foot of Mt. Everest. Not because of its sublime nature, but because of the madness of doing something irrelevant and fun, for the fun of it, with the best group of people on this earth. They are people you share the future with. People who understand the instantaneous joy; an everlasting joy; a joy that disappeares forever in a blink of an eye. The trivial, the simple, the completely insignificant endeavours. Yet, moments that last an eternity - or moments we hope to last forever. Why? Because they are shared.

Anyway, this plane was not going to just sit on its big rubber ass. Planes were built with a purpose, just like our lives were built with a purpose. We shared the same that day, to soar. Before I knew it, the engines were rumbling and the plane started to move. The very idea of having our own floating island trembled within our grasps. The awesome ecstasy of disappearing into the clouds, and the anticipation on the ground. Not that I had never flown before, but this time, we were in control. Where were going? Who knew. Just to accomplish this feat, was all that mattered.

Like a bunch of mad scientists in a laboratory, we worked the untamed beast. "Lift! Lift! Lift!" our hearts cried. She started to move quicker and quicker. It still seemed pretty slow though. We had not a runway, and no idea where we were. It was way too slow, and the makeshift runway way too short. We couldn't get a proper one, for we made for unchartered airs. The shrill excitement! OH! But still, we lifted off. It happened too quick for there to be any moment of relief or respite. We had no time to think about our fortunes or otherwise. Our concentration was binding. Our focus unparallelled. The chaos was too much for me. One lifted, the other turned, and the other other levelled. What was going on? The plane could not fly properly.
We took a sharp shoot for the sky - an incredibly steep climb. She stalled, and flipped on her back. She could not fly straight. It was a like a wobbly roller coaster. "We need to make for altitude!" The ground was enticingly close. We continued in chaos, and could not fly the plane. She could not climb. We pulled hard. Still, she would not budge.

Did we crash? But we took off again. Again, somehow, we managed to find some plot of land. The throttle was thrust, and we were going. She was going fast, fast towards a bridge. That bridge stood in our path, adamant. Our runway was cut short. We sped towards obstruction and destruction. None had time to think, or move, or say anything. Our focus was cast. We lifted. The nose of the plane gently grazed the edge of the bridge. We were safe. Because we had to lift sharply, we were climbing way too steep. We lacked speed. Again the plane could not fly.

A third time it happened, and we forgot why we tried. Forgot why we fought, why we fly. Everything was but a blurr. A dream? Where did we come from? Where were we going? Still, I enjoyed every moment of my dance with the sub-conscious.

Did we crash? Our dreams were crushed. Time and tide, ebb and flow. All stood in our way. Still we remained strong. Questions ran through our head. Thoughts of doubt and frustration. Bitterness against misfortune, anger against less-than-perfect conditions. Things should have flown smoothly. This time we won't fail.

We will make for a proper runway. Gain enough speed, and lift off gently, till we were safe in the high clouds. It didn't seem too difficult. Each one was delegated control over different parts of steering. It was an unbeatable plan. Again we could taste the delight, share the wind with the clouds.

This time there were more, a crew perhaps. In a swing that could carry a few on each side. Others wanted to join in the adventure at sky. Derek was there. It made it more exciting. We relived the birth of our dream. The hope of touching the sky with unknown fate. Now, it mattered though. It mattered if we could not fly, for we might perish. We knew not where to go, and how we were getting there. We just wanted to fly, but were also frighteningly sobered. How did we survive the other time? Doubt raced into our minds yet again. What if our plan fails this time? We marched on for it seemed to make sense.

The plane? What happened to the carrier of our dreams? If we imagined hard enough, we could build one. The next step seemed to be finding the runway. We sat in that swing, and in the blink of an eye we were at Eunos MRT. And in another, by the beach. There she stood, our jumbo jet, along the shore, againt the setting sun. Its deep red glow, ran placidly along the sea. It gently embraced the hide of our plane, till she glowed gold. On this shore we stood sublimed. We forgot the next step. The sea wavered calmly, and the thin clouds danced round the sun. The sky called to us, it was alive.

Then, we were attacked by Mark and gang. Pirates? We were saddened. They came from the 5th seas. We overcame. I run out of breath, out of steam. What next is to steal our dream? This final thief, none can overcome. A pleasant awakening into reality, but what about our dreams? It steals into our mind and carries us off. The series of events, the overloaded chorus. We forgot.

There I laid, trying to remember, the lost dream. It didn't matter. I go without a fight. Reality.

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